The Power of a Godly Wife: Supporting Your Marriage with Faith (Feat. Linda Goldfarb)Air Date: Jul. 08, 2025

Beth Barlet (00:01)
Do you feel overwhelmed by the urge to control your marriage? Are you struggling because your husband isn’t stepping up spiritually to lead your home? Today, I’ve brought in biblical wisdom expert Linda Goldfarb to reveal the truth about trusting God and our husbands to lead. If you’ve ever wondered how to navigate this delicate, often painful balance, stay with us. It’s time to get clarity. Let’s get to it. Salty begins right now.

Beth Barlet (00:52)
Welcome to Salted, where I help you uncover the transformative power to know and love Jesus in His fullness and stir up revival within your heart. Join me, Beth Barlett, as I come alongside you every week on the narrow path that draws us into a deeper relationship with Jesus. Get ready to be encouraged, empowered, ignited and equipped as we pursue authentic discipleship to influence the world for the Kingdom of God.

Beth Barlet (01:23)
Hey family, I am so excited to be with all of you this week. I have just been praying that the Lord is moving powerfully in all of your lives, your homes, your children, your workplaces, and that through this Salted Podcast that the Lord is just encouraging, empowering, and igniting your heart to grow deeper in faith and to lay down more of your life for Jesus each

and every day. And I am truly thankful for all of you, your hearts, your journey, your desire to walk in the fullness of what God has for you. And I gotta tell you, I am super stoked about today’s special episode because I have such a very dear friend and mentor joining us today. Someone who is a powerhouse voice for the kingdom of God.

full of godly wisdom and a true encourager in the faith. Writer, speaker, podcast host, life coach, Linda Goldfarb. Hey Linda.

Linda Goldfarb (02:34)
Hey, so good to be here with you Beth!

Beth Barlet (02:37)
We are just so glad to have you here with us today. I want to give Linda’s bio before we go any further. Whether sipping froth coffee with friends, hiking with her husband Sam, engaging in deep conversation with her children and grandchildren, or speaking truth with gentle boldness, Linda strives to be transparent and real. She is an award winning author and podcaster.

a board certified advanced level Christian life coach, audio book narrator, an international speaker, and a board member for the Advanced Writers and Speakers Association. Linda is quick to share, my life is far from perfect, and that’s where Yeshua met me. Love me and save me. For him, I’m eternally grateful. And wow, Linda, we are just eternally grateful for you being with us today.

And guys, today we are diving into a topic that is just so close to my heart. How we as wives can walk in godliness within our marriages, guard our intimacy with our husbands as their helpers and encouragers, and live out God’s design for marriage in the home by submitting to our husbands and our leading. And stop at it. I’m gonna rephrase that. Today, stop at it.

Today, we’re diving into a topic that is close to my heart, how we as wives can walk in godliness within our marriages, guard our intimacy with our husbands as their helpers and encouragers, and live out God’s design for marriage in the home by submitting to their leading. And I brought Linda on to bring biblical wisdom about one of the biggest struggles I see in Christian marriages and that I’ve actually struggled with myself.

letting go of control, submitting fully to God and to our husbands, and allowing our men to spiritually lead our homes. Today, we will answer the questions you didn’t know you had about why do women struggle with husbands not leading their homes? Is it possible to live out a godly marriage as a godly wife? And what can we do as wives

in the waiting when our husbands are not spiritually leading in the home. All right, Linda, go get him.

Linda Goldfarb (05:12)
Ha!

We’re in trouble now. We’re in trouble now. No, Beth,

let me, may I start off by just sharing a little bit of my story. The backstory I find always helps, right? It kind of helps everyone else understand why is this an area of passion for me, just as it is for you. And I tend to be very transparent. I have discovered over the years that transparency transforms and the enemy can’t

use anything against me if I am bold enough and authentic enough to put it out there. Because the one who is for me, he covers everything and no one can come against me in it. So I’m going to be very transparent with your beautiful family and share with them that life for Linda has not always been easy. I was a gal who was raised in the church

and raised with the understanding that you go to school, you get married, you have children, everyone goes to church and life is wonderful. And I’m married at the age of 18. And when I married, I did not realize that I was stepping into a very toxic relationship. And not that that story is what I’m sharing the most of today, but it’s important.

for, I believe, for your women to understand this is where I am. And I was married for over 10 years and wound up in divorce and with two children. So I became a single mom. And I will tell you, God is so redemptive. It’s another story. Maybe we share it another time, but God has redeemed that relationship where my ex-husband and his wife and his family and my husband and our family

Beth Barlet (06:48)
Sure.

Linda Goldfarb (07:12)
we get along so wonderfully only because of God. I will tell you that right now. But there is that hope. Someone needs to hear that today. And as a single mom, I went off into the world and striving to be who I was supposed to be, to raise my kids. And I did meet my future husband and we married and…

Beth Barlet (07:16)
Praise God.

Linda Goldfarb (07:38)
We started having children of our own. Sam and I actually, when we blended together, he did not have children. I did. And then we got pregnant and we lost our first child in the second trimester. And then we got pregnant two more times and have two amazing children from that. So we raised children in our home for 38 years.

All right, 38 years having kids in our home. know some of your moms are out there going, oh my word, I can’t even make it through 18, but I’m trying to give you as much of the backstory as I can here. And so in that time, Sam and I went through some struggles. Every marriage is going to have struggles. And when I

Beth Barlet (08:12)
And that’s a long time.

Linda Goldfarb (08:38)
divorced, went through the divorce of my first husband. I started learning a lot of things about myself that I had really suppressed over the years. I really was not walking in the design that God created me for. I was very subservient. I was very enabling. I was basically, for a better word, in a doormat position because that’s what I thought.

a wife was supposed to do. And so the concept of submitting to a husband, I thought I took it as a blanket statement, just whatever they say, that’s what you do. And I will tell you, it was a very toxic, toxic relationship in so many different ways. And it took me getting to a point where my husband

Beth Barlet (09:09)
Hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (09:35)
came to me one day and told me that my children were a burden, our children were a burden to him and something sparked in me and I said, Lord, I can’t keep doing this. There’s something that’s not right. And we wound up going through a divorce. Then when Sam and I married, Sam was a businessman, very go-getter and everything that we experienced in our relationship before marriage,

showed me that he was a leader and he was, you know, I, we talked about God. He was raised in the Methodist church. I was raised in Southern Baptist church, different upbringings, but we talked about God. We talked about Jesus, but we didn’t go into specifics like, no, really are you in God’s word every day? We didn’t do that. We married and

Beth Barlet (10:31)
Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (10:35)
than about a year and a half into our marriage.

or less than a year into our marriage, we went through a intimacy drought. We went seven years without intimacy. And that was crazy. That was crazy. Within the first year, year and a half, we did get pregnant and we had our first child. And then it was…

Beth Barlet (10:55)
a long time.

Yeah.

Linda Goldfarb (11:11)
forever after that. There was no touching. There was no, I mean, it was, it was a very, very difficult time. And Sam was not going to church. He didn’t want to go to church. He didn’t want to be the spiritual leader. And I really believe that and that time of my life, I, that God was going to bring me

into a relationship where the man was the spiritual head of the home because I had not experienced that. And I went to church. He didn’t stop me from going to church, but I went to church. But I also found that as a strong woman, because God had grown me strong, it’s kind of like the Grinch who stole Christmas and then his heart grew. OK, my my my woman backbone grew.

Beth Barlet (12:03)
I am.

Linda Goldfarb (12:08)
And we could see that as being a beneficial thing because, okay, I started becoming stronger. I started recognizing that God did not design me for someone to walk on me. He designed me to come along some alongside someone, but I really had not had teaching in that. I didn’t have anyone counseling me in that. I was branded then as a divorced woman with two children that has its own stuff.

especially years ago in the church. And then I got to the place where I really wanted my husband to be the spiritual head of the home. God had started growing me. I was very active in the church and he was growing me spiritually. And one day I found myself at a point where

Beth Barlet (12:38)
sure.

Linda Goldfarb (13:06)
I was looking at my husband and thinking, golly, Lord, could you just make Sam as spiritual as me? If you did that, do you know what would happen to my ministry? My ministry would grow. There’d be so many things that we could do together if he was just like me. Well, don’t we wish that that would have turned out a lot better?

Beth Barlet (13:23)
You

you

Linda Goldfarb (13:34)
I will tell you the Lord just, I don’t always hear a still quiet voice. My voice from God is like a two by four that comes up against me and says, so Linda, do you think it really is all about you? And you really think you’re all that in a bag of chips? And I realized quickly, no, I’m more like the crumbs in the bottom of the bag. was not who I thought I was. I was assuming a position.

Beth Barlet (13:34)
I’m

Thank

Linda Goldfarb (14:03)
that was not falling under the order of covering that God has for us in marriage. And in brief, I had come to a place where I was silently disrespecting my husband. He wasn’t a weak man. He wasn’t a wimpy man. He was an outdoorsman. He was a strong guy.

Beth Barlet (14:10)
Amen.

Hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (14:32)
He was a great guy, but because I did not understand how God designs us with our personalities and because I did not understand the order of covering, I was not looking at what God was already doing in my husband. I was becoming very impatient that he was not moving at the pace that I felt he should move for us to be doing.

kingdom work. Does that track it all?

Beth Barlet (15:06)
Yeah, no, I’ve actually walked in a similar type season where the Lord is just growing you or me personally and

You’re just so in tune with the Lord and you just are falling deeper and deeper with Him and He’s just revealing Himself so much more to you and growing you and just making you more into His Son, but also just opening your eyes to the Spirit and to the Kingdom and just all this stuff that’s available to us in the fullness of Jesus. And all you want is for your husband.

to know the same, to experience the same, to have those light bulbs go off by the Holy Spirit and say, yes, I get it too. I’ve experienced that too. And I’ve experienced his power. I’ve experienced his peace. I’ve experienced his deliverance, his healing. It transformed life. And although that, yes, our husbands are experiencing that too, we can’t expect them to be exactly.

what we want them to be and what we expect them to be in our own little minds, in our own little boxes that we think

that they should look a certain way, act a certain way, experience God a certain way when you’re right, like God is working in them completely in a different way that’s more than we could ever imagine or think. And because of our limited perspective and our limited views, we don’t know what God is doing in their hearts. And, you know, I had a similar type experience where I was going through the same type thing and, know, God, why can’t he just be doing this or why can’t he embrace

this more or why isn’t he doing more of X Y & Z with the picture that I had in my mind and one day the Lord just convicted me and was like Beth you have no idea how much your husband loves me and I just started bawling my eyes out because I knew it was the Holy Spirit just convicting me and my heart that you have been praying so much Beth for him to be X Y & Z when I am doing

such a great work in him. And you don’t know the deep love and the devotion and the wholehearted, single-heartedness and the faith that he has for me. And even though he’s not as loud as you are and as vocal as you are about me and the things that I’m doing in his life, doesn’t mean that I’m not working in him and that he doesn’t love or is devoted to me.

but just to be patient and to allow him to be the man I have fearfully and wonderfully made him to be for my kingdom, for my purpose. Then I feel it wasn’t until I surrendered like you had to realize that he wasn’t to be like me, that he was to be who God created him to be, that I had the peace and the ability to come alongside of him, to encourage him, to help him, to lift him up.

Linda Goldfarb (17:38)
You

Beth Barlet (18:05)
in order to be who God made him to be and be the woman and the wife that God designed me to be. I had to let go of these false expectations of what I wanted or what I thought in my pride and in my arrogance and in my limited perspective. And it wasn’t until I laid that down could I be that excellent wife or that godly wife that I was made to be, if that makes sense.

Linda Goldfarb (18:30)
Amen.

No, I mean, we are so tracking together and with the two of us having these similar experiences, it helps us to understand that there’s a lot of your listeners who experience the same thing. And so the question can come, why do women struggle with husbands not leading their homes? And there’s a few different reasons. And the biblical

to me, is truth that we could take to the bank, is because our God, the God we serve, the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, the divine Trinity, is all about relationships. He is a God of relationships. We are told in His word that He created man in His image to have a relationship with Him. He created man for Him.

and by him to be with him. And that the marriage is a representation of that relationship with God. And so when I have my relationship with God, I do not think of myself as God or better than God. And God says to us that the order of covering is that the man is to follow God

The woman is to follow God, but the man is to have that covering over his wife, over his children, and that he is to be the spiritual leader and he is to provide for finances or to be the one who, know, chops the wood, does all of this. Now, ladies, understand, I am a strong woman. I’m a strong woman mentally, physically.

I am that woman. If there were a modern day Amazon, yeah, that’s kind of the way that I roll, right? And I can chop wood and I can do all of these things, yet in the design, in the order of covering, when we usurp the man activities, then…

Beth Barlet (20:32)
hahahaha

Linda Goldfarb (20:54)
they will choose the path of least resistance. They won’t do what we’re doing for them. Why would they? That makes no sense. They’re not going to fight us for leadership. They will actually start becoming molded by our choices. When we get really loud, they’re not gonna fight. They’re not gonna…

Beth Barlet (20:58)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (21:22)
If they love us, and that’s the thing, we want them to love us, we want them to lead us, but if they love us, they’re not going to attack us. If someone attacks us, that’s not the right relationship. So why is this happening? Because the enemy is the prince of the earth. Because he infiltrates

Beth Barlet (21:39)
Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (21:49)
He can’t go into our mind. So let’s be clear with this. The enemy, Satan, is not equal to God. He is a creation of God’s. He cannot hear our thoughts. He’s not given privilege to our dreams. He can’t do that. He isn’t single entity. But he has minions and he has the one third of the angels that fell with him. He has demons. There’s a lot of control that’s out there that when we make

Beth Barlet (21:54)
Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (22:19)
noise in the physical realm. When we are speaking to someone else and we’re saying my husband is so blah blah blah blah blah, well that can be picked up on. And then the enemy will use it and these voices or spirits of oppression and suppression and just evil or someone else comes in and speaks into our life but they’re not speaking uplifting words, that

causes chaos and because he is the prince of chaos, he is a prince of lies and deceit. He is looking for every way possible to pull the rug out of every God ordained marriage. And he will do it again and again and again. Unless we choose to recognize what is my role.

as the wife, as the helpmate, as the one who is partnered with the husband. And roles have changed over the years, but the order of covering has not changed. When a husband, a father, goes before Jesus Christ, he will be held accountable for the spiritual growth of the family.

He will be held accountable because that’s what we’re told in scripture that he will be. And the wife falls under the husband, not as a subservient person, but as one who is protective of him, as one who prays for him, who comes alongside him and who shows respect for him. That’s

What can be challenging though, because that kind of leads into a little bit of the waiting season. Most of us will experience that.

Beth Barlet (24:31)
Amen. And I think too, it’s so difficult because the world, the culture we live in screams the opposite direction. And you know, since the term of the century, you have feminism, which doesn’t…

Linda Goldfarb (24:39)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (24:43)
Just say that we’re equal, but says that we should be doing everything that men are doing and that to be that godly wife and to take on that role is actually a negative thing. It is actually a weak thing and that we should strive to come away from that model and God’s divine design in order to be who the workplace wants us to be to fulfill, I think, a demonic agenda to again, break up.

the family unit. you know, it’s just like it’s God’s design and the enemy is constantly trying to war at us to walk away from God’s will. He wants to tear up families. He wants to break up legacies. He wants us to go along the broad path that leads to destruction. What culture is saying about families and marriages and how we as Christian women need to walk as wives. Because he knows that if he can break up the marriage, break up or

Linda Goldfarb (25:14)
Amen.

Yes.

Beth Barlet (25:43)
not just break up the marriage, but affect the legacy of the children within the family that he’s got it, you know? And I think it’s something that we have to be sober and alert about that embracing our divine design as a godly wife is an act of warfare.

Linda Goldfarb (25:49)
Amen. Amen.

Beth Barlet (26:02)
just like you said, and to overcome the oppression of the enemy, and that we have to be continually in God’s word all the time. know, Romans 12 to, to not be conformed to the ways of the world, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds through his word of what God says about marriage, about what God says about how we are to respond to our husbands, not what the world says, not what Hollywood says, not what our friends say.

Linda Goldfarb (26:02)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (26:29)
And I think that’s the most important thing is to separate ourselves from the ways of the world and get back into God’s word, believing that his design is beautiful and perfect and protective and that he wants the best for us. And it’s believing that and trusting in that, not trying to be wise in our own eyes or what the culture says, but trusting what God’s plan is for us. And that if we submit to that plan,

Linda Goldfarb (26:46)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (26:59)
that we will be blessed and that we will have peace and that we will be that much more in position to steward and teach and train and pass on the legacy of eternity in our hearts to our children. Because I think our marriage is a a huge construct that our children are witnessing every day. And we’re teaching our children how they need to be in their marriages when they grow up. And it’s not just about reading, it’s a showing.

Linda Goldfarb (27:12)
⁓ yeah.

Amen.

Beth Barlet (27:28)
and displaying.

Linda Goldfarb (27:29)
Amen.

It truly is. Everything that you have said, it is showing what the enemy is using in the world today. We are all susceptible. OK, there is not one of us immune to what is happening in the world. What we can do, though, is be intentional in how we choose to respond what the world is giving us. If my mind is swayed,

Beth Barlet (27:55)
Amen.

Linda Goldfarb (27:57)
by what so-and-so says is the best way for us to yada yada, and I have not checked that in God’s Word, then that’s on me. Truth is the Word of God. Jesus Christ is found in the Old Testament all the way through to Revelation. And I’ve got to be in His Word. That’s one of the first ways for us to be the godly wife in

our marriage today is for us to rely on God’s word as being the truth, the plumb line that we measure everything with. If the world says this, then I go back to the word and go, well, what does it say about me as a mother? How am I supposed to mother? Is it all right for me to stay at home? Because we need to make a lot more money because in order for us to be quote successful,

That means we have to have a lot, do a lot, be a lot, put our kids in all of these activities and just run until we’re ragged. And I will tell you right now, that is not anywhere in God’s word. Nowhere will you find that in God’s word. What we do find is that husbands are to love their wives as they love their own bodies. That she is to

Beth Barlet (29:10)
So true.

Linda Goldfarb (29:24)
love her husband as she loves herself, that we are to come together when life is difficult and to be able to lean into one another, that we are to hold fast to one another. And the mystery, they call marriage really a mystery. If we look in the ⁓ book of Ephesians chapter five versus

22 through 33, I’m gonna pull out a couple verses here. 31 says, when someone marries, therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh. In other words, they’re going to think alike, they’re going to be so close that it’s like they are one. And verse 32 says, this mystery is profound.

And I’m saying that it refers to Christ and the church. It is a mystery. How in the world can they be that close? It’s because of the intimacy that Christ wants to have with the church, the intimacy that God wants to have with us as believers. For us to recognize He loves us so much that every single thing that happens in our life, though it is allowed, it may not be His choice, we have

We have horrible things that happened today, but and yet we serve a Christ who struggled, who had horrible things happen to him. It doesn’t change God’s agenda. It doesn’t change his promise. It doesn’t change anything on his part. It helps us to look at life and go, it’s not going to be all roses and beautiful and life is going to be perfect and my husband

If I lean on my husband to be the one who satisfies me spiritually, then I’m already setting him up to fail. I’m setting myself up to fail. God is my husband. He is my spiritual guide. What I do is I come up alongside my husband and again, I pray for him and I don’t pray, Lord, make him like me.

Beth Barlet (31:24)
Mm.

Linda Goldfarb (31:48)
I mean, God showed me really quick when in my spirit, he was like, Linda, am I your God? And I said, absolutely. And he said, am I Sam’s God? And I hesitated. And he said, here’s the answer. I am God, period. What I’m doing in the life of your husband, you don’t have privilege to. You have no idea what I’m doing in the life of Sam.

You have no idea the backstory that we’re having to walk through him and God together. And it was very similar to what you said about your husband. And if God is impressing that on your heart, Beth, and God impressed it on my heart, the waiting period that we, Sam and I walked through, because I was like, how am I going to make it through this? How am I going to make it through this time?

Beth Barlet (32:23)
Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (32:47)
And he, God spoke into my heart. did not hear him audibly. He spoke into my heart what I call that he gave me a, his, the Lord’s letter. And may I share that story with your audience?

Beth Barlet (33:03)
yeah,

for sure.

Linda Goldfarb (33:12)
Am I still on with you? Can you hear me? Okay. So it is. Yes. Is it all right if I share that with, with your audience? Okay. Okay. So here is when Sam and I were at the place where we had no intimacy. Life was really hard. It was so difficult. I was in women’s ministry. I was, mean, I was doing all the right things and I was like, Lord, I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

Beth Barlet (33:14)
Yeah. Can you hear me?

Yes, yes, definitely.

Linda Goldfarb (33:42)
And in my spirit, was like father said to me, all right, what would you do, Linda, if I sent you a letter, you received the letter, you knew it was from me. And in the letter, it said on this day, at this time, this, I mean, this year, this day, this time, this moment, your husband is going to absolutely

get everything that I need him to have and he is going to become the man that you have been desiring and praying for and more. What would you do if you received that letter? And I said, well, I would look at him entirely different. I would know that he’s on a journey just like me. I will start respecting him even though it’s difficult for me to find

areas to respect him in because I had, as I mentioned earlier, I had silently started disrespecting him. In my mind and my heart, I was seeing him as being lazy and ineffective. so that just messes with the whole marriage dynamic. And so I said, Lord, I will walk with that anticipation of your promise. I will trust you for it. And so it was in my spirit. He was like, okay.

Beth Barlet (34:49)
Hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (35:13)
start behaving like you received the letter, you just didn’t see the date yet. But I’m sending you that letter right now and you need to know that I am at work in the life of your husband. And it changed my life and it changed my husband’s life, Beth. Over the course of the next five years, when I had people coming to me saying, this isn’t fair, you shouldn’t be in this relationship.

all, I mean, and the world was coming against me. said, no, the Lord has given me a promise. And the day that we were in church together, because he hadn’t been going to church, but we were in church together, a lot of orchestration behind what God did to get him in church.

Beth Barlet (35:46)
Mm-hmm.

Linda Goldfarb (36:04)
And he was up at the front of the church when I came down from the choir loft, which I was very upset that he was up at the front because normally we sat in the back and I didn’t have to walk past people. And I was like, what in the world is he doing? Why are you doing this? And when the pastor made the altar call, my husband stood up, turned to me, put his hand out to me. And I looked at him and I said, what are you doing? And he goes, something I needed to have done a long time ago.

Beth Barlet (36:12)
Thank

Linda Goldfarb (36:33)
And he stood up and we walked forward. Our lives changed. And he made up for every bit of intimacy that was missing. I won’t go into details, but I will tell you, my girl, there’s no way I was like, this is crazy insane. And we are in ministry together today. And we’re real close to 40 years being married. And we love each other more.

Beth Barlet (36:59)
Praise God.

Linda Goldfarb (37:02)
every day and life still is not easy. It is not struggle free but it’s absolutely filled with joy and blessing and miracles and the Holy Spirit is alive and active in our life and I encourage all of your all of your family

moms and wives do not give up on who God is at work in.

We’re not to be the powerhouse, though we are strong. And we are wise. We have husbands that are yet to shine, and when they do,

The world will not be able to hold us back. He won’t be able to hold you back or your family and your children will start to be taught by a man who chases after God. All of these things are possible. All of these things.

Beth Barlet (38:13)
Amen.

Amen. And I think something needs to be said too about how to wait well from point A to point B and not only standing firm in faith, believing the character and the goodness and the unswerving faithfulness of God and who he is and how much he loves you and how much he loves your husband, but also making sure that you’re posturing your hearts in the right place.

not allowing the enemy to come in and to breed any bitterness or unforgiveness or pride or arrogance or judgment or the list can go on what the enemy can do when we’re in that season of waiting and we feel as if God isn’t hearing us. And I think it’s so important that if you are waiting for your husband to grow in the Lord to where you feel

Linda Goldfarb (38:57)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (39:05)
that you would desire him to be, that you have to continually posture your heart in gratitude and in just thanksgiving for what the Lord will do instead of grumbling. And I think that once we get into a grumbling, we start to allow little by little pieces of our heart to move over to that state of bitterness, which can just get ugly and that horrible state of unforgiveness.

Linda Goldfarb (39:17)
Amen. Amen.

Absolutely.

Beth Barlet (39:33)
that just separates you further and further away from your husband, or even allowing the enemy to pour in a little poison of disappointment or loss. And I think it’s continually standing firm in your convictions and faith, trusting in God and who he is and having that same mindset as Linda was talking about, that if God gave you that letter today saying,

Linda Goldfarb (39:44)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (39:59)
on this day at this time that your husband is going to come fully to me more than you can imagine or think. How would you posture your heart for the next two, three, five, 10 years believing and receiving the promises that God had for you and trusting and trusting that he is doing a work in him even when you can’t see. And I think that’s so important to wait well.

Linda Goldfarb (40:25)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (40:27)
is having that continual perspective on who God is and not allowing the enemy to creep in because it’s so easy. It’s so easy. And because if you allow him in just a little bit, it’s gonna turmoil into anger. And the list, you’re only gonna just be that much more separated from each other and the enemy’s gonna have his way. When instead, if you can just surrender and submit and trust.

Linda Goldfarb (40:47)
Right.

Amen.

Beth Barlet (40:54)
And continually, ⁓ I remember what scripture it is, but how Peter says that ⁓ wives can win their husbands over just simply with a gentle and quiet and loving spirit, in patience, asking the Lord to just pour out more grace to allow you to be more patient and to be more trusting and to be more loving with our husbands because it’s hard. And it’s so funny because many times we have such a perspective on what our

Linda Goldfarb (41:07)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (41:24)
husband is or isn’t doing, that many times we have to even look in ourselves, in our own hearts, how God is using the situation to sanctify us, to make us more in the image of Christ. And sometimes we were so blinded to that, where we forget that marriage is also a beautiful work of sanctification for both of us. And that if we’re not looking inward, if we’re not keeping up with repentance in our own walk with the Lord,

Linda Goldfarb (41:38)
That’s right.

Beth Barlet (41:53)
staying sensitive to his leading and our hard hearts that can start to occur when we have that bitterness or that judgment toward our husbands, that can stifle our walk with him and our fullness and our joy. And you know, Jesus says in John 10, 10 that he comes to give life abundantly to us and that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy. And he wants to steal from you the enjoyment of your marriage, the joy that comes from that deep intimacy with our husbands.

Linda Goldfarb (41:56)
Amen.

Hmm.

Amen.

Kill.

Beth Barlet (42:23)
And just, you can’t explain it, but that spirit-led intimacy, which overflows then to your children and how you parent. And one time in my life, just when we have fear or we’re concerned and looking at the lack versus the abundance we have in God, my husband reminded me one day that it’s the enemy trying to steal my enjoyment of what God has given me because I’m not focusing on his goodness.

Linda Goldfarb (42:31)
That’s right. That’s right.

Amen.

Beth Barlet (42:52)
and trusting his word and his character. And I’m just focusing on the problem. And I think that we so easily go down these rabbit holes and we just have to just stop ourselves, take every thought captive in obedience to Jesus, everything that the Bible tells us to do when we have a battle in our minds. And it applies to our marriages as well. being sober and alert and putting our armor on every day, being intentional, like you said.

Linda Goldfarb (43:20)
every day.

Amen. Amen. And if I can speak into this moment too, because I feel in my spirit someone needs to hear this. If you’re in a toxic relationship and if you’re in danger, if your children are in danger, I do not believe that this is a relationship where God is saying to you just allow the hurt, allow any of ⁓

any type of abuse, you need to seek counseling in this. You need to seek someone because whether in marriages, mean, females can abuse as much as the men can abuse. And there’s something that’s deeper. There’s a deep root of something that’s happening and that you’re not necessarily to stay in a situation where there is danger. You need to find hope or help in that.

One of the things when in the situation with my husband Sam, when I was in what I call that dark time where I was every day, Lord, just show me, show me I’m holding on to your truth. I’m believing you for your truth. I’m believing what you say. And one day I said, can you give me something? Can you show me something? I’m walking in faith. I’m trusting your word.

and I called it a Jesus kiss. said, can Jesus just give me a kiss so I can understand anything about my husband? Is it anything, Lord? I will take a little thing. And that day when I was walking from the bedroom area, walking down into our living room area where the television was on and the children were in bed. So it was that evening. The children were in bed.

And the room was darker. Sam likes it to be dark when he’s watching something on the television. And as I approached my husband, I could see there was water on his face. And immediately I was like, he’s crying. Why is he crying? He doesn’t cry. He’s a man who doesn’t cry. He doesn’t show emotions like that. What in the world? And I’d looked at the television and it was one of those promotions for ⁓

like adopting a child from another country, like World Vision or something like this, where you see these impoverished children. And I said to Sam, honey, are you okay? And he turned and he looked at me and he said, no one should go through life without someone telling them that they love them. And in that moment, in my spirit,

The Lord was saying to me, don’t know what this man has walked through. This is the man that you’re looking for. This compassionate man who has been hurt in his life. And this is your kiss. This is your moment. Hold onto this because I’m going to bring him to you. And from that moment on, when Sam would use a harsh word or

colorful language or just not being a happy person, I would bring that visual back and I would go, Lord, you promised me, you gave me a promise. I’m going to trust you in this. I’m going to wait. And I started asking him for things that I could respect my husband for. And so then, because I was like, there’s a lot of things he’s not doing or not doing right or whatever.

Beth Barlet (46:50)
Colorful language. ⁓

Linda Goldfarb (47:17)
But then one by one, I’d see him doing something and I would go, you know, I really enjoy watching how you do this, this, this. And he turned and goes, really? I go, that’s, that’s amazing that you do that. ⁓ the way that you treat yada, yada, yada. That is, that is powerful. Really? And you know what I discovered? The more I praised him and lifted up his face in

the little things that he was doing, the more often he did them. And then he started looking for more things. Instead of my mind saying, if you just get off your butt and go out there and mow the lawn, or if you just did this, I stopped that thinking. It’s what you say. I have to look at how I’m posturing him. Am I choosing to lift him up? Because I knew he loved me. All right, let’s be clear.

There was not one doubt in my mind that Sam loved me. He just didn’t necessarily know how to love me, but I knew that he did. And that is very clear. God made that very clear for me. And so I started trusting God more than the circumstances, more than the situation. And I will tell you.

Beth Barlet (48:24)
Hmm. ⁓

Linda Goldfarb (48:44)
that the relationship we have today is more than anyone could ever imagine. It’s not perfect and that’s okay because I’d be having to try to, you know, I don’t have to wear makeup at home. So I wear makeup now, but I mean, I’m like, I’m not a makeup girl. I’m just me. I’m just me and we love each other dearly. So I pray that’s an encouragement.

Beth Barlet (48:59)
That’s beautiful. ⁓

But you’re right, because words have so much power. And we fail to remember that. the littlest things, like you said, just building him up, even family, even if you can just build up your husband two times a day saying just something good about what you see them doing or something you love about them. Right, as long as it’s real, don’t make things up.

Linda Goldfarb (49:30)
As long as it’s authentic, it’s real. Make sure it’s real. Amen. Nope. Nope.

Beth Barlet (49:36)
but

something that you see or that you, what made you fall in love with your husband? And I think that one way that you can encourage and help them is to magnify Jesus in them by pulling out what you’re seeing. And like Linda said, highlighting it and just praising it. And I remember some wisdom and advice that two wonderful women,

taught me when I first got saved over 10 years ago and they were very key mentors in my life on teaching me how to be a godly, excellent wife and a spiritual mother and what that looked like. And I remember them telling me one little thing where, you know, husbands, we need to be loved as wives and women for sure, but that husbands do need respect and they do need to feel like they have that ability to lead. if like Linda said, if we don’t give them

Linda Goldfarb (50:21)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (50:27)
that space to lead, it stifles them. And I remember them telling me a simple story about what one of them did, how they would even choose, say, two movies. OK, so what movie do you want to watch tonight? And they would say, do you want to watch this one or this one? And then they would allow their husband to choose. this little thing, when I first heard this, was like, ⁓ OK. But the more I thought about it is a simple

simple circumstance or opportunity to allow the husband to lead and to choose. Those small circumstances can then over time build into bigger circumstances to then allow you and train yourself to allow your husband to lead and to choose. Because you know as women we all want to control, we all want to nag, we all want our own selfish way right here right now.

Linda Goldfarb (51:09)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (51:27)
You know, you know what I’m talking about. ⁓ family, you know what I’m talking about. ⁓ But it’s letting go and just making intentional space for them to be who God’s made them to be. And it may start very small, but over time, God will bless that and allow them to step up to be who God created them to be. like Linda’s journey, like even in my own marriage,

Linda Goldfarb (51:40)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (51:55)
When I’ve stepped back and allowed my husband to be that wonderful, godly man that God created him to be, he has so many of the godly attributes that I don’t have. And just like any puzzle, you know, the pieces that we have of the Lord, our husbands don’t have. But the pieces that our husbands have, many times help to lead us in areas that we lack. And you know, many times we have this picture, ⁓ we want our husband to be a pastor.

Linda Goldfarb (52:06)
Amen.

Beth Barlet (52:23)
We want our husband to be on this mission field. We have these weird expectations, maybe even worldly expectations of what a godly man should look like. When many times simply, it’s in a conversation where supernaturally he has such divine wisdom. I know many times when I’m spiraling, it takes my husband to speak truth to my face and say, did you forget about God? Did you, have you read God’s word lately? What does God say about this? You know, and reminding me again,

Because faith comes by hearing it and many times we sometimes get suckered into the enemy’s voice no matter how much we read and we just fall. And it’s up to my husband to all the time snap me back and say, what does God say about that? And that is spiritual leading right there. You know, leading you back to God’s Word, leading you back to God’s truth, leading you back to just the person of Jesus Christ when you forget, when you forget where you are so just

Linda Goldfarb (53:00)
That’s right. We’re not immune.

Amen.

Beth Barlet (53:22)
overcome by the lies of the enemy. He is there to bring you back. It may not look like this big mission field where you’re traveling from country to country. know, many times he’s just leading you to be the best vessel of the Lord you can be for your family in that moment. And I just have to share that today. If someone just has these weird expectations, it’s the simple little things of him leading you back to Jesus. Amen.

Linda Goldfarb (53:27)
Amen.

And

it will impact generations. The little moments, the little times of the little details, how your children see him respond to you or how they witness us walking under the leading of our husbands. They will gravitate to that. God’s design will not be mocked. God’s order will not be

Beth Barlet (53:53)
Amen.

So good.

Linda Goldfarb (54:19)
denied no matter what the world says, no matter what anyone else says, God’s word is truth. I have t-shirts and if they read, if God says it, that settles it. And I have to walk. Okay. I have to walk in that because it’s that it becomes my truth. That is what I trust. And no matter what else is happening, I go, where does God’s word say that?

Beth Barlet (54:32)
Hey, I want one of those.

Linda Goldfarb (54:48)
Does he say that? He doesn’t say that. Then why am I buying into that? That’s not true. That’s one of the reasons why my good friend Linda Gilden, we wrote a personality series and one of the quick guides in it is linked for couples. It helps couples discover how God designed them. And most of time we come together almost as opposites in marriage.

And what does that look like? What does that mean for us? And how can I speak the, basically the personality, the heart language, it’s different than the love languages, but the heart language of who I am with in life. And I will tell you light bulbs come on because we’re not trying to change God’s design in our spouse.

We’re recognizing how we’re designed and how they’re designed. And in that, it also helps us to discover, ⁓ and this is probably how we’re going to respond to different circumstances in life. So it makes a huge difference when we recognize God brings us together, not because we’re the same. He brings us together because we can complete.

the design that he needs for us in that family unit. And that makes it very powerful.

Beth Barlet (56:19)
So good.

So good. Well, thank you, Linda. I want to end on that powerful note. It’s just been such a blessing having you here with our family today and just blessing us with all your wisdom and your beautiful testimony that is just so powerful. I want to let you guys know that I’m going to provide all of Linda’s information in the show notes, her website, her social media, the awesome books that she has written, especially that book she just talked about.

Linda Goldfarb (56:37)
Hmm.

Beth Barlet (56:50)
She’s also going to give us a awesome link to a God personality quiz, correct Linda, where we can actually see.

Linda Goldfarb (56:56)
Yes, that’s my

giveaway for everybody. All they have to do is click on it. It’s 26 questions. It’s going to give them a lot of information.

Beth Barlet (57:06)
Amen. Make sure you guys download that. It is such a gem and a treasure, even in my own life. It has really opened my eyes to see how God’s designed me so that I can walk that much more fuller in how He’s created me. ⁓ But I want to just pray over you guys today and let’s get started. So Heavenly Father, thank you so much for your goodness, for your kindness, and for your mercy.

We are so thankful that you have given us your son Jesus Christ to lead us and to guide us into eternity. But also Lord that you have showed us through your word, your divine design on how we can not only be pure, righteous and holy Christian women.

but also godly wives and godly mothers. And we are so thankful for your Holy Spirit that enables us and empowers us to walk out the life that you have called us to live. I pray that you would bless my women in this beautiful family you have given me. Would you bless Linda on her future endeavors? And would you continue to be with us because we need you, especially in our marriages every step of the way.

In Jesus name I pray, amen. So family, I will see you all again next week. Hope you have a wonderful week. May God bless you and keep you. May his face shine upon you and be gracious to you and give you peace. Love y’all.

Linda Goldfarb (58:23)
Amen.

Bye bye everybody.

Beth Barlet (58:42)
I pray this episode has blessed you today. I appreciate our time together and I hope our conversation has deepened your faith. Don’t forget to check out today’s show notes for episode links and additional information. Be sure to share this podcast with a friend, review it, and hit subscribe so you don’t miss one episode. Go to my website www.thesaltedpodcast.com and subscribe to my newsletter to be part of our Salted community. Remember,

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